Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Keep Tomatoes Legal

This is the official web site of the Tomato family.
*You are not authorized to call a tomato a tomato without registering your tomatoes with us.

*Please keep tomatoes legal. And remember that you will be subject to criminal prosecution if you use illegal unregistered tomatoes.

* For only 2 cents a tomato you can legally be in compliance with the law. Please use the form on the right to register your tomatoes. 

* Please report illegal tomatoes to your local district attorney and to the FBI.

History of the tomato and Tomato family
In the middle ages people thought tomatoes were poisonous and didn't eat them. Hundreds of years ago a farmer by the name Tomato was one of the first farmers to cultivate and popularize the eating of tomatoes, and then his name stuck. His sons and descendants who grew the vegetable were the only ones who had the right to use the name tomato. The Tomato family is still going strong. But people around the world are ripping off our trademark. Everyone who uses tomatoes owes us licensing fees for use of the name. 

What if I grow a tomato in my own private garden and it goes rotten. Am I still obligated to register it?

Yes. We are not responsible for inclement weather, natural disasters, disease or plague or any other conditions that may harm tomatoes. You are responsible for your tomatoes and we cannot give any refunds to people who mistreat their tomatoes.

Can I really be fined or arrested for using the name Tomato without permission that is obtained by registering the tomatoes here?